How was your day?

Today, for the first time ever, I got to hear my friend Alys play the harp. As a special added bonus, I also got to hear her sing. She was wonderful at both, and if her CDs hadn’t been picked clean by the rest of the audience, I would have liked to have taken one home. I feel like the harp would be a nice instrument to listen to while writing; sometimes I get tired of total silence when I’m working.

Afterwards, I stopped by the comic book store, because I was in the neighborhood and I am weak-willed. I am trying hard to pinch my pennies, but, well, comic books: they will be my undoing. I picked up “The Last Temptation”, which was written by Neil Gaiman (who I am currently in love with), and another really fun-looking one called “iZombie: Dead to the World”. The latter of the two is from Vertigo, which I like because they’re kind of like grown-up comics, and if you know anything about me at all you know that I have a soft spot for zombies. If I take the concept of zombies seriously, they are fucking terrifying to me. This comic seems not to take the scary approach, though, and looks pretty novel. I will check in with you guys once I’ve actually read it.

On the walk home I finished listening to the “Stardust” audiobook, which is read by my boyfriend, Neil Gaiman. I cannot get over how much I enjoy hearing his voice. I suppose I am not being completely fair when I call him my boyfriend, though, since I get a little wigged whenever he narrates sex. I kind of don’t like to think about him as a sexual object. Sorry Neil. I think of him as my platonic boyfriend, which to be fair, is how I think of many of my boyfriends. “Boyfriend” is really just another way of me saying “I think you are AWESOME and I love you”.

When I got home I chopped up some meat and stuck it in my tiny slow-cooker – it’s almost done now – and finished my essay. I went back and forth on how to structure the essay, which is an exploration of motherhood in Titus Andronicus and Macbeth. I ended up with: Intro-here’s why Tamora sucks-here’s why Lady M sucks-Lady M dies-Tamora dies-Conclusion. I’m not convinced that it’s the best structure, but I like it marginally better than Intro-Tamora does this-Lady M does this-Tamora does that-Lady M does that-Tamora dies-Lady M dies-Conclusion. This probably doesn’t make any sense to anyone. Nevertheless, the most important thing that I learned is that my typing skills have been shot to shit. I make an incredible amount of typos. Just in that last sentence I made four. I used to be so good at this.

The rest of the evening is pretty much just me eating pot roast and watching episodes of “Homicide: Life on the Streets”. If you’re unaware, it’s a pretty fucking excellent show, and the impetus for my usual internet nickname. Even so many years later, when I have developed a general dislike and mistrust of police officials, I adore the cops on this show. They’re like superheroes: fighting the good fight, no matter what it costs.

And how was your day?

The Boyfriend List #1: Spider-Man

As if you didn’t know this was coming.

Yes, people, Spider-Man is my number one boyfriend.  Peter Parker, the Amazing, Spectacular, Web-Of Spider-Man.  Those of you who have known me for any period of time will know that I am completely and utterly crazy about this web-crawling menace.  And why?  That’s easy too, if you know me.

I don’t believe in the great fantastic love story.  I don’t believe that relationships like the ones you see in romances really happen.  I believe that love is something more solid and steady as opposed to something hot and romantic.  I do, however, enjoy a good story about a great love affair, and Spider-Man has that x2.

The first great love of Peter Parker’s life, and the one I think was his “one” was Gwen Stacey.  Gwen was a sweet, sometimes simpering girl that  he was involved with while in college.  It shouldn’t be a spoiler to anyone at this point that as soon as Peter and Gwen found some measure of happiness, the Green Goblin swooped in and dropped Gwen from the top of the George Washington Bridge.  Spider-Man shot a web line out to catch Gwen by the ankle, but he was too late; the fall had already done its damage.

Every woman who followed was measured against her.  Peter never got over Gwen Stacey, the love of his life.  In fact in every story of an alternate reality where Parker is able to live out his greatest desire, the life he would choose if he could, Gwen is always alive and always with Peter.

The death of Gwen Stacey was one of the major turning points in Peter’s life.  From now on you could measure Peter’s life in the comics in one of two ways: before Gwen, and after Gwen.  He never got over the guilt he felt for letting her go, and he never stopped loving her.  And what makes it even sadder is that, although the Green Goblin is ultimately responsible for the death of Gwen Stacey, Peter’s attempt to save her is what literally killed her.

It wasn’t the fall or the altitude that were the cause of death; it was the sudden stop causing Gwen’s neck to snap.  It was Peter’s grabbing her by the ankle and stopping her fall.  Peter Parker was unwittingly and unknowingly responsible for the death of Gwen Stacey.  How absolutely tragic.

Once Gwen was out of the picture, the stage was set for Peter and Mary Jane Parker to finally get it on.  They’d known each other and been friends with each other all the while that Peter was dating Gwen, and when Peter sunk into a deep depression over the loss of his lover, MJ was there to take care of him.  She was the only one who was really there for him during this time, and eventually the friendship that Peter felt for MJ turned into love.

They had some rough times – like when they lost their baby, May – but Peter and MJ were together for a long time and although *I* personally never got over the loss of Peter+Gwen, I could see that Peter+MJ were a much more rock solid couple who really seemed to belong together.  I was happy for them, and really, I thought MJ was pretty awesome.

Spider-Man’s romantic relationships are only one reason why I adore him so.  The other, probably much bigger, reason that I love him is his completely consuming sense of responsibility.  He’s a norma guy with extraordinary powers, and while there’s no denying that he sometimes has fun being the web-slinger, he would much rather have anormal life with his normal wife, and not have to run off into danger and leave behind the ones he cares about.  But he does it anyway.  Because, if you’ll allow me one brief moment of cheese, he’s a hero.

Spider-Man is cute, smart, noble, funny, responsible, and dedicated.  He has all of my favourite qualities in a person, and a snazzy pair of red tights.  Sometimes the writers do some really suspect things with him, but overall he’s been consistantly entertaining and heroic, and I have always had a soft spot in my heart for a hero.

The Boyfriend List #3 & #2 – John Crichton & Jensen Ackles

3 – John Crichton

He is a fictional character, I acknowledge that.  My crush is not on Ben Browder, who happily shares Crichton’s good looks, but rather on the character he played in my favourite sci-fi show, Farscape.

John Cricton is, simply, the perfect man.  So it only makes sense that he doesn’t actually exist.  He is handsome, smart, funny, nerdy, and emotional without being emo.  He is everything a girl (this girl, anyway) could ever want.  And once again I find that the quality that puts him so high on the list, also keeps him from ever really being mine (excluding the fictional thing): Aeryn Sun.

His fictional relationship with the beautiful and steely warrior Aeryn is one of the most amazing and beautiful I’ve ever seen on television.  The progression of the two coming together, falling apart, and coming back together again is never boring, trite, or overplayed.  I believed every moment they spent together and every moment they spent apart.  I adore Crichton, but I adore John and Aeryn together, even more.

My old roommate and I used to have a drinking game we played when watching Farscape,  We played with coolers in shot glasses, as opposed to actual shots, because the game was so heavy with cues that otherwise we wouldn’t have lasted more than an episode.  One of our cues was whenever John made a pop culture reference.  I was always wildly entertained when he would get his nerd on, not caring for a moment that the people around him didn’t understand what he was talking about.  That they, in fact, thought he was pretty crazy.

Crichton was at times crazy, desperate, lonely, and passionate.  What he never was, was boring.  He’s a fictional man that is made up of the very best qualities of man, and that’s why he’s on the boyfriend list.

=-=

#2 – Jensen Ackles

Are you kidding me?  Do I really need to spell this out for you?

HOT.  HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT.

Good LORD, smoking hot.  Like, start googling topless pictures right NOW, hot.  Like, I’d probably melt into a puddle if I Ever met him, hot.  Like, my eyes are BURNING, hot.  HOT.  SO HOT.

and, I’m sure he has a nice personality too.

 

Guest Blog: Fantasy Boyfriend

I’ve been running around like a chicken with a head cut off for the Blogathon over at my own blog, but I did get to poke my head in a couple hours ago to see Melanie blogging about her dream boyfriends. I had really no idea what I was going to write about here, but after chatting over Ridiculously Sexist Things From the Internet (like this), I figured it out: I’d write about one of the longest-standing members of my own Boyfriend List. My boyfriend list has always been astoundingly small – too many real-life objects of affection taking all my precious dreaming energy – but one guy’s been on it for coming on ten years now.

Who could this be, you wonder? I’m a smart girl, and I have high standards. Who could captivate my attention for a month, let alone close to ten years? I’m not the kind that’ll wag my tail for eye candy alone, but I’ve also been known to quote Oscar Wilde on judging people on their looks (i.e. only shallow people don’t).

I won’t leave you in any more suspense: I’ve had a crush on Duncan Sheik since I was 16.

I’m not going to bother explaining who he is to you. If you know, you know; if you don’t, Wikipedia is your friend.)

How much is there to say? He’s a Buddhist, writes and sings some really incredible, goosebump-inducing songs (often about the universe), and studied semiotics at Brown University. Yes, that’s right, the study of signs and symbols. That’s the sort of abstract thinking that sends shivers up my spine.

He’s certainly still a singer-songwriter, but I’ve also been fascinated by the way he took what previously was a criticism against his music – that he was distant or overly objective – and capitalized on it in a way that made total sense for him: in turning musical theatre on its head. He won a Tony Award for his work on the score of Spring Awakening, and I’m quite enamoured with his latest project, Whisper House.

Also, I suspect he has a seriously geeky streak: there’s a curiously homespun touch to his podcast for Whisper House, and he’s totally with it when it comes to DRM and remix culture – in 2006, he released his album with two discs: one called Mine, with his produced version of his songs, and one called Yours, which contained tracks for people to remix and remake into their own songs.

I won’t regale you with the tale of having my little teenage dream fulfilled when I met Duncan in Vancouver, or when I say him two nights in a row in Portland and Seattle this past February. I’ll just saw, that were it not for Duncan Sheik, I would not have nearly as good an idea as I do now, for what intelligent males sound like when they talk. Guys don’t have to spout poetry, but in the hundreds of hours spent with Duncan’s songs, I’d like to think that I’ve learned to listen for spirit.

…what more could a girl ask for?

Karen Quinn Fung is a public space advocate, and a passionate transit map reformer.  She’s helped to organize more than one unconferencfe within Vancouver, thereby giving activist nerds across the city (including myself) something to do with their weekends!  She’s also about as cute as a button, and writes a highly entertaining and informative blog.

The Boyfriend List #’s 5 & 4: NPH & Dr. Who

#5 – Neil Patrick Harris

Yes, I know he’s gay.  No, I don’t care.  Fantasy list, remember?  I can put anyone I want on here.  I can put the Jolly Green Giant on here if I want to, but I won’t because he’s a little green for me and ever since my failed love affair with Bruce Banner,I’ve been off green.

I am not (really) embaressed to admit that I had a crush on NPH back in his Doogie Howser days, but now that he’s all grown up and singing his wannabe evil heart out, I have reached new depths of my fantasy love.  Who knew he had such a sweet voice?  Who knew I would be so fascinated by a sweet voice? who knew that I wouldn’t be able to think of a third question for this line of thought?

=-=

#4 – David Tennant

Oh, doctor, my doctor!  Okay, that was cheesy, and a little bit of a reference to Star Trek.  The fact remains, David Tennant has the most adorable smile I’ve yet to see (at least among boyfriends).  He was not only the nerdiest looking Dr. Who in a long list of nerdy looking Dr. Who’s, but he was the most passionate and the most excitable, and I do love that in an imaginary boyfriend.  The conundrum is that the one thing keeping him from being higher on the list is the same thing that put him on the list in the first place, the Doctor’s relationship with Rose Tyler, and the chemistry between the two characters.  And it’s not just because of Billi Piper’s nickname for him, either.  You do know his nickname, don’t you?  I’ll give you a hint: it starts with “Ten-Inch Tennant”.

The Boyfriend List #6: Leonard Cohen

are you shocked?  Don’t be.

I almost went to bed
without remembering
the four white violets
I put in the button-hole
of your green sweater
and how i kissed you then
and you kissed me
shy as though I’d
never been your lover

I heard of a man
who says words so beautifully
that if he only speaks their name
women give themselves to him.
If I am dumb beside your body
while silence blossoms like tumors on our lips,
it is because I hear a man climb stairs and clear his throat outside the door.

The man is the embodiment of sex.

The Boyfriend List #8 & #7: John Krasinski & Nathan Fillion

#8

Oh, there are so many things to love about John Krasinski (otherwise known as Jim from The Office).  His floppy hair (not pictured here), his goofy smile, his supernaturally expressive eyebrows.  John Krasinski is that rare breed of hot nerd that makes you think dreams can come true.

My favourite thing about this boyfriend, though, is his character’s on-screen relationship with Pam.  I do so love a boy in love!

Okay, they don’t all have to be epic love letters, do they?  The man is adorable!

#7

And then of course there’s Nathan Fillion.  Again, a hot nerd that just delights!  His boyish good looks along with his boyish personality make me smile and sigh.  One of the qualities I admire in a person, especially someone famous, is their ability to make fun of themselves.  I don’t like anyone who take themselves too seriously, and I don’t think there’s too much danger of that happening with our man here.

Also, since one of his most attractive characters was that of Mal Reynolds on Firefly, I used to think it would be adorable to be known as half of Mel & Mal.  (I, of course, get first billing.)

The Boyfriend List #9: Christian Bale

It’s a fantasy list, so I’m allowed to be really shallow, right?

Bale is on here mostly for his affiliation with Batman, a character I have long found fascinating and sexy.  And the fact is that some Batmen are sexier than others.  Michael Keaton’s stellar turn at the role notwithstanding, Christian Bale just does it for me in terms of sheer sex appeal.  And I don’t even mind that he’s kind of a jerk.  Mind?  I kind of like it.  He’s a jerk about something that matters a hell of a lot to him, and I kind of have to admire that level of passion.

When I look at Christian Bale, I see an actor first, and then a hot dude.  In every role I’ve seen him in he’s been dedicated.  He seems to throw himself into his craft, and I find that kind of single-minded determination to be very attractive.  Of course that may say more about my own neuroses than about my fondness for the new Batman.

Like I said, his role as Batman is what really pushed him onto this list.  I’m a huge comic book fan, and Batman is one of the most fascinating characters ever created.  Like the actor who plays him, Batman is dedicated to his work.  He sees the world, or at least Gotham, as a problem to be solved, and not a place to live in, love in, laugh in.  There is little to no room in Batman’s world for frivolity or any really anything other than crime fighting.  That’s probably why it’s so easy to say that Batman is who he really is, and Bruce Wayne is the mask.

So, do I wonder who Christian Bale really is under his mask?  Not really.  The boyfriend list exists as a way for me to oogle boys that I think are cute, in one way or another.  I don’t really need to, or want to, know about who the boys are in their real lives.  I will never meet them, and I don’t actually know anything about them right now.  I know the roles that Bale plays, and I know he’s a very pretty boy.  Everything beyond that is created from my imagination.  It’s fantasy, and I like it like that.  Reality would only get in the way.

 

The Boyfriend List #10: Gerard Butler

He’s mostly on this list because of his good looks and his sexy accent, but the accent is not something I can easily share, so here, have a picture.

“Your beauty shines too brightly.” Oh, Gerry. sigh.

One of the things you can get from this photo, and one of the things I love the best about my boy, is his attitude.  He’s sassy and spunky and does whatever the fuck he wants, but somehow manages to avoid being an asshole.  He’s kind of got all the good qualities of the Bad Boy (hot, independent, mouthy) and none of the bad qualities (judgemental, selfish, assholic), which kind of makes him the perfect man.    Oh, and I mentioned the part about him being hot, right?  That part is kind of important.

But there’s another reason why my Scottish friend is on this list.  A few years ago Gerry was supposed to be attending a film festival in the same city that I was living in.  A friend and I were daydreaming about how much fun it would be if we ran into him while we were out and about doing our business.  My friend alleged that she knew which hotel he was staying at, and I suggested that we make the dream a reality and go to the hotel and see if we “accidentally” bump into him.  She was a little mortified at the suggestion, but I was in full wishful thinking mode and begged her to come with me and keep me company.  We could have some girly bonding time, I argued.

So we went down to the hotel and plopped ourselves down on a sofa and had a most excellent night of chatting and hanging out.  We talked about a lot of things, I got to kn0w my friend better, and I think she got to know me better.  We saw a couple of actors milling around the hotel, but never any Gerard Butler.  It didn’t matter, though.  The whole point of taking my friend to the hotel was to do something crazy and ridiculous together and get to know each other better, and in that, we succeeded.

So, thanks Gerry, for bringing friends closer together.  :)  and welcome to The List.