I wanted to write some of this down, because I want to remember it as best I can. It’s not going to be pretty, but that’s okay because it’s not for you, it’s for me.
I was on a week long cruise in the Caribbean for an event called JoCoCruiseCrazy. Attendees of this crazy water house music convention are called Sea Monkeys. My birthday happened to fall within the cruise and maybe MAYBE it was the best birthday ever.
On the morning of my birthday I had lots of bacon and sausages. I had horrible coffee, but decent tea. I went with friends to see That Yoda Guy, and basked in the warm sun and the panicked chattering of Sea Monkeys who may or may not have been lost. Afterward, I ate pizza with friends and demanded birthday hugs.
The demanding of birthday hugs was an all-day event, really.
In the afternoon I got a birthday card with monkeys on it (but no poop, thank god), which was signed by many many people, both famous and not. I also received a Captain Marvel dogtag, which I LOVE. I put it on right away, even though it did not match my outfit.
At a ninja concert by Molly Lewis, I reminded people that it is my birthday. I didn’t want anyone to feel bad about missing it. Lar deSouza loudly acclaimed his surprise at my being another year older, and Molly sang happy birthday to me. THIS IS A TRUE THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME. I then struggled not to fall asleep during Molly’s show, and felt like SUCH A JERK for being so sleepy after she had sung to me. I’m sorry, Molly! I was the most tired fan in the world!
That evening I had a buffet dinner with wonderful people. I ate so much food, you guys. I wore my favourite dress, which is brown with pink polka dots. I had two different trifles, and a banger. Those are just food highlights. A waiter brought me a piece of peanut butter chocolate cake with a candle in it, and I made a wish. I always wish for the same thing, and it usually comes true. Sea Monkeys sang happy birthday to me in multiple languages. A couple celebrating valentines day stopped by and gave me an ADORABLE stuffed monkey and some chocolate. I named the monkey Lil’ Storm.
That evening was Open Mic night, which meant I got to cheer on the most amazing and talented people. On the way to the venue I saw John Roderick. “JOHN RODERICK!” I yelled, “IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!” I don’t remember what he said, but he hugged me. I legit did not want to let go. A handsome man with a beautiful voice enveloped me in birthday hugs. THIS HAPPENED TO ME.
At Open Mic I heard so many wonderful songs and jokes and recitations. It was beautiful. At the end of the show I approached Mike Phirman and told him it was my birthday. He made the room sing happy birthday to me. He also hugged me. TWICE.
On my way back to my room I stopped and had a tiny sandwich with friends. One beautiful lovely lady stole a rose from the cupcake shop and gave it to me. She committed a crime for my birthday, you guys.
The next day I thought it was over, but it was not. At the Doubleclicks show that afternoon, Angela and Aubrey sang the Birthday Song for ME. MEEEEEEEEEEEE!! AND IT WAS RECORDED ON VIDEO!
Missing from the end of this video is the fact that I kept clapping for like 20 seconds after everyone else had stopped. I was so elated, you guys, you don’t even know. They deserved all the applause.
This was my birthday. And it was maybe the best birthday ever, except for the one where I was born which is kind of responsible for starting this whole crazy thing off.