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I don’t have time for this.

Posted by melagee on July 3, 2010

I’m going to tell you something private.  Something private and embarrassing.  Sometimes I like to fantasize about what it would be like to live in my favourite tv shows.

It’s a habit I developed as a child, when I was pretty lonely.  It’s not something I do a lot (any more), but every now and then I still get a kick out of wondering what it would be like to ride with the A-Team, or have an affair with Young Indiana Jones.  I”m sorry, but have you seen young Sean Patrick Flanery?  I can hardly be blamed.


I'm pretty sure this scene in Boondock Saints was written as a gift from the universe to me.

One of my favourite ridiculous tv-inspired fantasy’s is Star Trek: The Next Generation.  I like to think about what it would be like to hang out with Worf, replicate lots of ice cream, and maybe fight a little alien-bad-guy ass.

The other day I was day dreaming about ST:TNG and half-thinking about the controversy over Wonder Woman’s new costume redesign and how I have a little catching up to do with my Wonder Woman comic-reading, and a strange thought struck me:  If I were to suddenly transport myself from the real 21st century to the make-believe 24th century, I would have a HUGE amount of catching up to do in my comic book reading!  Good lord, I would have 3 centuries worth of back issues to read in order to catch up with the current storylines!  I have been reading comics with great regularity in the past several years, and I am still unable to keep up with just the Big Two.

But it’s not just comic books.  What about my favourite tv shows?  How many Doctor’s will have come and gone in that time?  And the books?  How many classics have been written?  How many songs have gone down in history?  How much pop culture have I missed, not just from my own planet but from the hundreds of other civilizations the Federation has made contact with?

For god’s sake, it’s not even just pop culture!  Think about this for a moment:  You’re a regular person, living in the regular (admittedly make-believe) 24th Century depicted in ST:TNG.  How do you imagine you would even begin to keep track of current events?  Most of us here in the real world barely know what’s going on in other countries, much less understand the complexities of situations like what’s been happening in Israel; how would you be able to stay abreast of the political climates of hundreds of cultures, and how they affect each other?  It seems impossible.  It seems like more than a full-time job.  How is anyone in Star Trek in a position of political or military authority able to make an informed decision?

I also kind of wonder what the internet (or equivalent) is like in the 24th century.  It seems like the 24th century version of using wikipedia is just to ask the computer a direct question.  Except if I doubt the information wikipedia gives me, I can always search for other sources.  Is there an alternate computer database that will give you more or different information?  Who feeds the information into the computer, and what are their biases?  What if an asshole gets that job and just starts trolling the federation?

I have questions, but I have no answers.


2 Responses to “I don’t have time for this.”

  1. Lara said

    I fantasize about being in the TNG world all the time. Especially the holodeck and the replicator .. my god, the possibilities. Though I would hate being walked in on while enjoying my private world on the holodeck, the way TNG characters always were. I’d hope they’d have a way to prevent that.

    • melagee said

      It’s true; if I were on the holideck I would padlock that sucker. Every character on TNG knows how to pick an electronic lock, but how many of them can pick a metal lock?

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