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Archive for the ‘Movies/TV’ Category

My Date with Callum Blue

Posted by melagee on May 20, 2011

It was a dream, of course. I have never gone out with Callum Blue, nor ever even met the man. I admired his Britishness and good looks in Secret Diary of a Call Girl and Smallville, but that’s about as far as our relationship has ever gone. I’m sorry to admit that he never even made my Top 10 Boyfriends List. Still, he’s very cute and somewhat dorky-looking and he’s got an accent: all qualities that I admire in a man. So I guess it makes sense that my brain would pick him to dream about, but I’m not sure what the trigger was. I haven’t watched anything of his in months, and I don’t remember reading anything about him recently.

In my dream I found myself making a date with a fellow on OKCupid. The fellow I was supposed to meet looked a little beefy and not really my type, but making friends is cool too. We were to meet outside and it was dark and I had trouble finding him. I kept looking at the picture of him on my phone and scanning the faces of people on the sidewalk, but no one looked like him. Then I did a double-take and said hello to my date, who, as it happens, was Callum Blue. He looked nothing like he did in my photo – Callum Blue isn’t really beefy, and he’s much prettier than the fellow in the photo I had – but I knew absolutely that he was my date. As soon as I realized I was now on a date with Callum Blue I was stunned that I had almost turned down the request.

I don’t know what he thought of me, but he was polite with just a smidge of arrogant charm. So perfect. He held the door of his convertible (and there ends my knowledge of cars) for me and took me for a drive. I remember leaning over the side of the car and watching the world whiz by and just loving it. I clearly remember thinking about how much I love being driven around and how it almost felt as though we were floating above the world. And then we were.

The car stopped being a car and instead became something like a ski lift seat.  Callum Blue and I were flying above the earth in a ski lift seat. Even in the dream I knew this was a little weird, but I thought “Maybe he has super powers?” and went with it. I wasn’t scared, as I would normally be if I were flying or very high up off the ground, but I was afraid that I would drop my camera. Whenever I look down from a good height, I am always a little bit concerned that my glasses will fall off of my face and smash to pieces. The falling camera is apparently my dream-equivilent.

I didn’t worry too much, though, because soon Callum Blue decided to have a little nap. He rested his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me and dozed while I admired the flight. I’m still not sure which was more exciting: flying through the city in a chair, or being embraced by Callum Blue. Lucky for Dream Me, I didn’t have to choose between one or the other. Dream Melanie can have it all.

The rest of the dream was sadly Callum Blue-free, but I did end up in bed with Matt Smith. The weird thing about that is that I am a huge David Tennant fan, so I’m not sure what my brain was thinking.


Posted in Dreams, Movies/TV, Nerd Talk | Leave a Comment »

How was your day?

Posted by melagee on March 19, 2011

Today, for the first time ever, I got to hear my friend Alys play the harp. As a special added bonus, I also got to hear her sing. She was wonderful at both, and if her CDs hadn’t been picked clean by the rest of the audience, I would have liked to have taken one home. I feel like the harp would be a nice instrument to listen to while writing; sometimes I get tired of total silence when I’m working.

Afterwards, I stopped by the comic book store, because I was in the neighborhood and I am weak-willed. I am trying hard to pinch my pennies, but, well, comic books: they will be my undoing. I picked up “The Last Temptation”, which was written by Neil Gaiman (who I am currently in love with), and another really fun-looking one called “iZombie: Dead to the World”. The latter of the two is from Vertigo, which I like because they’re kind of like grown-up comics, and if you know anything about me at all you know that I have a soft spot for zombies. If I take the concept of zombies seriously, they are fucking terrifying to me. This comic seems not to take the scary approach, though, and looks pretty novel. I will check in with you guys once I’ve actually read it.

On the walk home I finished listening to the “Stardust” audiobook, which is read by my boyfriend, Neil Gaiman. I cannot get over how much I enjoy hearing his voice. I suppose I am not being completely fair when I call him my boyfriend, though, since I get a little wigged whenever he narrates sex. I kind of don’t like to think about him as a sexual object. Sorry Neil. I think of him as my platonic boyfriend, which to be fair, is how I think of many of my boyfriends. “Boyfriend” is really just another way of me saying “I think you are AWESOME and I love you”.

When I got home I chopped up some meat and stuck it in my tiny slow-cooker – it’s almost done now – and finished my essay. I went back and forth on how to structure the essay, which is an exploration of motherhood in Titus Andronicus and Macbeth. I ended up with: Intro-here’s why Tamora sucks-here’s why Lady M sucks-Lady M dies-Tamora dies-Conclusion. I’m not convinced that it’s the best structure, but I like it marginally better than Intro-Tamora does this-Lady M does this-Tamora does that-Lady M does that-Tamora dies-Lady M dies-Conclusion. This probably doesn’t make any sense to anyone. Nevertheless, the most important thing that I learned is that my typing skills have been shot to shit. I make an incredible amount of typos. Just in that last sentence I made four. I used to be so good at this.

The rest of the evening is pretty much just me eating pot roast and watching episodes of “Homicide: Life on the Streets”. If you’re unaware, it’s a pretty fucking excellent show, and the impetus for my usual internet nickname. Even so many years later, when I have developed a general dislike and mistrust of police officials, I adore the cops on this show. They’re like superheroes: fighting the good fight, no matter what it costs.

And how was your day?

Posted in Boyfriends, Buds, Movies/TV, Work | 4 Comments »

I don’t have time for this.

Posted by melagee on July 3, 2010

I’m going to tell you something private.  Something private and embarrassing.  Sometimes I like to fantasize about what it would be like to live in my favourite tv shows.

It’s a habit I developed as a child, when I was pretty lonely.  It’s not something I do a lot (any more), but every now and then I still get a kick out of wondering what it would be like to ride with the A-Team, or have an affair with Young Indiana Jones.  I”m sorry, but have you seen young Sean Patrick Flanery?  I can hardly be blamed.


I'm pretty sure this scene in Boondock Saints was written as a gift from the universe to me.

One of my favourite ridiculous tv-inspired fantasy’s is Star Trek: The Next Generation.  I like to think about what it would be like to hang out with Worf, replicate lots of ice cream, and maybe fight a little alien-bad-guy ass.

The other day I was day dreaming about ST:TNG and half-thinking about the controversy over Wonder Woman’s new costume redesign and how I have a little catching up to do with my Wonder Woman comic-reading, and a strange thought struck me:  If I were to suddenly transport myself from the real 21st century to the make-believe 24th century, I would have a HUGE amount of catching up to do in my comic book reading!  Good lord, I would have 3 centuries worth of back issues to read in order to catch up with the current storylines!  I have been reading comics with great regularity in the past several years, and I am still unable to keep up with just the Big Two.

But it’s not just comic books.  What about my favourite tv shows?  How many Doctor’s will have come and gone in that time?  And the books?  How many classics have been written?  How many songs have gone down in history?  How much pop culture have I missed, not just from my own planet but from the hundreds of other civilizations the Federation has made contact with?

For god’s sake, it’s not even just pop culture!  Think about this for a moment:  You’re a regular person, living in the regular (admittedly make-believe) 24th Century depicted in ST:TNG.  How do you imagine you would even begin to keep track of current events?  Most of us here in the real world barely know what’s going on in other countries, much less understand the complexities of situations like what’s been happening in Israel; how would you be able to stay abreast of the political climates of hundreds of cultures, and how they affect each other?  It seems impossible.  It seems like more than a full-time job.  How is anyone in Star Trek in a position of political or military authority able to make an informed decision?

I also kind of wonder what the internet (or equivalent) is like in the 24th century.  It seems like the 24th century version of using wikipedia is just to ask the computer a direct question.  Except if I doubt the information wikipedia gives me, I can always search for other sources.  Is there an alternate computer database that will give you more or different information?  Who feeds the information into the computer, and what are their biases?  What if an asshole gets that job and just starts trolling the federation?

I have questions, but I have no answers.

Posted in Essential Melanie, Movies/TV, Nerd Talk | 2 Comments »

On Vampires

Posted by melagee on February 12, 2010

I have been thinking about vampires a lot lately.  People are complaining about Twilight and it’s sparkly vampires, which I take some indie umbrage at, since I was complaining about brooding, aged vampires and their teen sweethearts before it got all cool.  Honestly, between Twilight, True Blood, and Angel, I have really reached my limit on that particular cliché.  So here are some ideas for some new vampire movies:

Knight in the City
When thousand-year-old vampire William Daye is framed for a crime he didn’t commit, serious, by-the-book police detective Susan Knight is the charged with and bringing him to justice.  Set in the dark streets of Fredericton, New Brunswick, Knight goes undercover as a newly converted vampire in an effort to locate Daye.  But as Knight follows Daye further into the forbidden world of vampireism she learns more about the man she must hunt down, and his way of life.  When faced with the ultimate decision, will Knight honour her life of obligation, or will she choose to embrace the life of the undead?

Not My Type!
Newly-bitten Ray Smeckles (Zac Efron) has just transferred to Westview Secondary’s night school program, and is eager to continue living his life in as normal a manner as possible.  When Ray meets Lola Brandt (Michelle Trachtenberg), President of the Student Vampireism Coalition, all of his plans get turned upside down!  Loud, proud, and half-drunk on blood, Lola is everything that Ray doesn’t want to be, but she just may be the only one who can teach Ray to accept himself as the vampire he truly is.

Small Packages
Turned at the age of 12, Josh has lived for hundreds of years without ever finding a way to fulfill his dreams of playing pro football.  While older Vampires take the field night after night in the professional vampire league, Josh can only sit on the sidelines and think about what might have been.  But when a kind-hearted coach takes pity on the small vampire and puts him on the team, all of Josh’s dreams seem to be coming true.  Will the reality be able to live up to years of yearning, and more importantly, will Josh be able to live up to his own expectations and show the world that his heart can still beat – for the game.

Hayden and Sonja are natural born enemies:  He is descended from a long line of vampire hunters, and she is poised to inherit the Vampire Crown.  Hayden has sworn to avenge his mother, who died tragically in the Vampire Riots, and Sonja swears a fierce and dedicated commitment to fighting for the freedom of her people.  Both have lived their entire lives for the day they would finally meet, and now that they have, Hayden and Sonja are in love.  Hesitant at first, they are ultimately unable to resist their love for each other.  Can the two star-crossed lovers find a way to force their family’s to accept them together, or will their tale end in blood?

Okay, that last one is still pretty cliché.

Posted in Movies/TV, Nerd Talk | 1 Comment »

The Stepfather is waaaaay lame.

Posted by melagee on February 6, 2010

I am watching bad movies, and soon there will be croissants filled with ham and cheese.  I didn’t get out of bed until 6pm today, and while I was there I finally finished The Dark Lord of Derkholm.

Today is a pretty good day to be me.  This, in spite of the fact that Sela Ward has just now joined the growing list of actresses portraying the clueless wife who essentially chooses the new man in her life over her kids.  Oh, Sela Ward.  Whatever happened to my free-spirited Teddy?

Next on the list of bad movies:  Saw VI, and Sorority Row.  Later, there may even be popcorn.  Oh yes, it is a good life!

Posted in Movies/TV | Leave a Comment »


Posted by melagee on August 19, 2009

I just got one of those phone calls of the deep automated voice telling me I’ve been preselcted for a special prize.  I started laughing and hung up.  I laughed because from now until forever, those calls will remind me of this skit, from That Mitchell and Webb Look:

Posted in Movies/TV, Nerd Talk | Leave a Comment »

The Girlfriend List #7, #6, #5

Posted by melagee on July 26, 2009

#7 – Tori Amos

The weird part about the Girlfriend List is that I really don’t know how to put into words my affection for so many of these women.  Yes, they are all physically attractive women, but there is something more to it than that.  How do I explain how Tori Amos’ words reach me, when I can’t even tell you clearly what she’s singing about at any given moment?  All I know is that there’s something in her voice that makes me want to close my eyes and put my head in her lap.  She is longing and bitter sweetness and the unattainable.  She is lost to me, a mystery to me, but I will never stop chasing her.

#6 – Bif Naked

Now, Bif, on the other hand…

Bif Naked is my sassy, hot shit, don’t-take-nothing-from-no-one, ass-kicking bitch.  I love her because she’s all attitude and fierceness on the outside, and all soft and squishy on the inside.  She looks like someone you don’t want to fuck with, but she’s got the temperament of a pussy cat.  She lives an utterly and unbelievable clean lifestyle, and still maintains a rocker image. How the hell does she do that?

I don’t know, man, but I do know that I’d like a closer look at those tattoos. ifyaknowwhai’msain?  Okay, that was crude.  What I mean is, I’d like to see more of her body, perhaps in a sexual context.  Better?

This is Bif from my favourite period, before she got really really thin (not because of the breast cancer) and started looking unhealthy.  I’m a little worried about my lady, because she seemed unnaturally thin, but I heard she put on some weight in chemo.

Okay, the truth is, I’m just typing whatever I can think of so that I can space out the paragraphs nicely.  This line’s mostly filler.  So’s this one.  Is it working?  Shoot, I just realized it will probably look different on everyone’s computers.  bah!

#5 – Sabrina Lloyd

Who?  I know, right?  Not the most well-known of ladies, but oh Sabrina Lloyd.  She was one of my first girl crushes.  I first saw her when she was one of the regular actors on a show called Sliders.  Everyone remembers Sliders, right?  She played Wade Wells, the nerdy but lovable gal pal of lead Jerry O’Connell,who she was also secretly in love with.  Part way through the show they ditched her character, which I was really angry about (because she was so cute), but something happened between me and Sabrina that kind of sparked my fascination with small girls with short mops of brown hair.  I’m not kidding, I’m actually very fond of that type.

Later she popped up on SportsNight, and then Numb3rs, and she was just as cute and perky and lovable as always, but in my heart she will always be Wade.

Posted in Blogathon 2009, Girlfriends, Movies/TV | Leave a Comment »

The Girlfriend List #10, #9, #8

Posted by melagee on July 26, 2009

Oh, ho, ho!  Didn’t think it was actually gonna happen, did you, sucka?  Well it is, but in much more condensed form than the Boyfriend List.  Why so much less cred?  because I am tired, goddammit,and I am bored with talking about people who are hot.  I just feel the need to represent to mah ladies.

now take it and like it!

#10 – Lauren Ambrose

I actually really disliked her character on Six Feet Under, but Lauren herself is just so…gosh.  So pretty.  There’s something about her, an arrogance maybe, like she knows she’s a super pretty girl, and uses it to her advantage.  But I don’t get any malice from her, so I’m okay with it. And, now that I think about it, I kind of disliked all of the characters on Six Feet Under.

#9 – Ginnifer Goodwin

Another stunningly beautiful girl from a horrible show, Ginnifer played one of three wives on the incredibly sexist and preachy Big Love.  She played a character with spunk and the biggest heart in Utah, and I would have married her in an instant.  Especially when she smiled.  Oh, gosh, her smile.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an absolutely amazing smile.  I think I would do cartwheels and learn to juggle fire if I could get this girl to smile at me.

#8 – Sarah Slean

The first time I heard a song by Sarah Slean was in the middle of the night, on MuchMusic.  They played “Sweet Ones” and I enjoyed the song so much that I tuned back into MM when they replayed the song a few hours later.  (MuchMusic generally repeats their programming three times every 24 hours.)  This was back in the days before I knew my way around a torrent.

A few years later when I was working for an organization that honoured women in business, I nominated Sarah for one of the awards my company handed out.  It was a prestigious award that ultimately went to a woman in business writing, but I was so excited for a few moments when Sarah actually accepted the nomination.  I didn’t notice at the time that no one else in the office seemed to know who she was, I just kept day dreaming about meeting her at the ceremony and telling her I was the one who had nominated her.

ah, day dreams.

Posted in Blogathon 2009, Girlfriends, Movies/TV | Leave a Comment »

The Time Traveler’s Wife

Posted by melagee on July 25, 2009

I had been rereading “The Time Traveler’s Wife” by Audrey Niffenegger, in anticipation of the movie adaptation that’s coming out next month.  I had to stop because I ended up loaning out both of my copies, but that’s alright, I know the story pretty well.

If you aren’t familiar with the book, I highly recommend it.  I devoured it in about two days, and have bought it as a gift for about 10 people now, all of whom have loved it.  It’s a beautiful book, and I am eagerly awaiting Niffenegger’s next novel.

The story is about a man, Henry, who is afflicted with a strange disorder that causes him to be shunted back and forth through time.  During many of his jaunts, Henry spends time with a little girl named Clare, who grows into a woman over the course of several years and several visits from Henry.  They find each other as adults and prepare to spend their lives together, while trying to find a way to deal with Henry’s disorder.  The first time Henry meets Clare, he’s about 33 and she’s 28.  The first time Clare meets Henry, he’s 6 and he’s in his 20s.

It sounds like a science fiction novel, but it’s not.  And I don’t say that to disparage science fiction novels.  I think we’ve established that I love science fiction.  This just isn’t that type of book.  The fact that Henry moves back and forth through time is, while essential to the story, almost a non issue in terms of what is real and what is possible.  Henry’s affliction, though rare, is something that happens to others and is treated as a medical condition.  He might just as well have high blood pressure.

This is a love story.  The absolutely enduring love between Henry and Clare, who end up feeling at one hopeless and optimistic.  They are one of my favourite couples of fiction, and Audrey Niffinegger is fast on her way to becoming one of my favourite authors.

You should go read it.  As for the movie?  I can’t say yet, but I have a bad feeling.  How can any movie do justice to a book I love so much.  My advice?  See the movie, but read the book first.  Yes, reading the book may ruin your enjoyment of the movie, but I guarantee that watching the movie first will influence how you read the book, and that’s a damn shame.

Posted in Blogathon 2009, Booksss, Movies/TV | 1 Comment »

In case you were wondering,

Posted by melagee on July 25, 2009

A few blogs ago, oh so many many moons ago, I posted a few of the really random quotes that I use on almost a daily basis.  I forgot to put one on the list, and it came up in casual conversation with Catherine…Omega? Winters? Either or?

We were getting on the elevator and I was bemoaning the fact that the elevator only goes down and we had to take the stairs back up.  Suddenly:

“Where do those stairs go?” I asked.
Poor Catherine couldn’t have looked more confused.  “You want to take the stairs?”

Actually, I was just quoting GhostBusters, but, as Catherine pointed out, I had “too much context”.  That’s me!  The master of context and small yapping dogs!  I rule.

So!  Answers?

  • “Step this way.” — Spoken by Scrooge to his clark, Crachet at the end of A Christmas Carol.  He’s trying so hard to maintain his strict serious face so that he can surprise the hell out of Bob with his good news.
  • “You were right,” — Spoken by a nameless girl, right after having sex with Leonardo DiCaprio in Man in the Iron Mask.  The full line is “You were right.  A woman has never known love, ’till she’s know the love of a king.”  To which Louis replies, “I’m hungry.”
  • “I cannot carry anymore!” — Spoken by the female Barbarian in Champions of Norrath, my favourite video game.  She can only carry so many things at once, and when she’s at capacity and I keep trying to pick things up, she yells at me.  Sometimes I also use the female Dark Elf’s vally girlish version, “My pack’s full!”
  • “The books make our speaking English good.” — said by Xander to, I think, Giles in an episode of Buffy.  I don’t even fully remember the context, I just remember loving the line and it’s delicious wrongness.
  • “Use your words, dude.” — From Red vs Blue.  I really can’t remember which character said it, or in which episode, but it’s a great line for when people fumble over their own words, or become tongue tied.  You know, if you like to mock the misfortunes of others. Like I do.
  • “I love this show!” — Spoken by Gir in an episode of Invader Zim, which is one of the most awesomely awesome shows to ever awesome.  Gir is such a spectacular lovable character, too, you may remember that I almost named by cat after him.  I use this line a lot when talking about tv shows, which I kind of do a lot.
  • “I’ll be your mother, now!” — Little Red Riding Hood to Jack (of Beanstalk fame) in the final scenes of Into the Woods.  It’s completely random and never in context, but somehow I find a way to use it, and nobody ever ever gets it.  I think that just makes it all the more fun.

There.  Do you feel sated, now?

Posted in Blogathon 2009, Buds, Essential Melanie, Movies/TV, Nerd Talk | 6 Comments »