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Archive for the ‘Nerd Talk’ Category

The Best Birthday

Posted by melagee on February 25, 2013

I wanted to write some of this down, because I want to remember it as best I can. It’s not going to be pretty, but that’s okay because it’s not for you, it’s for me.

I was on a week long cruise in the Caribbean for an event called JoCoCruiseCrazy. Attendees of this crazy water house music convention are called Sea Monkeys. My birthday happened to fall within the cruise and maybe MAYBE it was the best birthday ever.

On the morning of my birthday I had lots of bacon and sausages. I had horrible coffee, but decent tea. I went with friends to see That Yoda Guy, and basked in the warm sun and the panicked chattering of Sea Monkeys who may or may not have been lost. Afterward, I ate pizza with friends and demanded birthday hugs.

The demanding of birthday hugs was an all-day event, really.

In the afternoon I got a birthday card with monkeys on it (but no poop, thank god), which was signed by many many people, both famous and not. I also received a Captain Marvel dogtag, which I LOVE. I put it on right away, even though it did not match my outfit.


At a ninja concert by Molly Lewis, I reminded people that it is my birthday. I didn’t want anyone to feel bad about missing it. Lar deSouza loudly acclaimed his surprise at my being another year older, and Molly sang happy birthday to me. THIS IS A TRUE THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME. I then struggled not to fall asleep during Molly’s show, and felt like SUCH A JERK for being so sleepy after she had sung to me. I’m sorry, Molly! I was the most tired fan in the world!

That evening I had a buffet dinner with wonderful people. I ate so much food, you guys. I wore my favourite dress, which is brown with pink polka dots. I had two different trifles, and a banger. Those are just food highlights. A waiter brought me a piece of peanut butter chocolate cake with a candle in it, and I made a wish. I always wish for the same thing, and it usually comes true. Sea Monkeys sang happy birthday to me in multiple languages. A couple celebrating valentines day stopped by and gave me an ADORABLE stuffed monkey and some chocolate. I named the monkey Lil’ Storm.


That evening was Open Mic night, which meant I got to cheer on the most amazing and talented people. On the way to the venue I saw John Roderick. “JOHN RODERICK!” I yelled, “IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!” I don’t remember what he said, but he hugged me. I legit did not want to let go. A handsome man with a beautiful voice enveloped me in birthday hugs. THIS HAPPENED TO ME.

At Open Mic I heard so many wonderful songs and jokes and recitations. It was beautiful. At the end of the show I approached Mike Phirman and told him it was my birthday. He made the room sing happy birthday to me. He also hugged me. TWICE.

On my way back to my room I stopped and had a tiny sandwich with friends. One beautiful lovely lady stole a rose from the cupcake shop and gave it to me. She committed a crime for my birthday, you guys.

The next day I thought it was over, but it was not. At the Doubleclicks show that afternoon, Angela and Aubrey sang the Birthday Song for ME. MEEEEEEEEEEEE!! AND IT WAS RECORDED ON VIDEO!


Missing from the end of this video is the fact that I kept clapping for like 20 seconds after everyone else had stopped. I was so elated, you guys, you don’t even know. They deserved all the applause.

This was my birthday. And it was maybe the best birthday ever, except for the one where I was born which is kind of responsible for starting this whole crazy thing off.


Posted in Buds, Essential Melanie, Nerd Talk, Plans of Fun | 2 Comments »

My Date with Callum Blue

Posted by melagee on May 20, 2011

It was a dream, of course. I have never gone out with Callum Blue, nor ever even met the man. I admired his Britishness and good looks in Secret Diary of a Call Girl and Smallville, but that’s about as far as our relationship has ever gone. I’m sorry to admit that he never even made my Top 10 Boyfriends List. Still, he’s very cute and somewhat dorky-looking and he’s got an accent: all qualities that I admire in a man. So I guess it makes sense that my brain would pick him to dream about, but I’m not sure what the trigger was. I haven’t watched anything of his in months, and I don’t remember reading anything about him recently.

In my dream I found myself making a date with a fellow on OKCupid. The fellow I was supposed to meet looked a little beefy and not really my type, but making friends is cool too. We were to meet outside and it was dark and I had trouble finding him. I kept looking at the picture of him on my phone and scanning the faces of people on the sidewalk, but no one looked like him. Then I did a double-take and said hello to my date, who, as it happens, was Callum Blue. He looked nothing like he did in my photo – Callum Blue isn’t really beefy, and he’s much prettier than the fellow in the photo I had – but I knew absolutely that he was my date. As soon as I realized I was now on a date with Callum Blue I was stunned that I had almost turned down the request.

I don’t know what he thought of me, but he was polite with just a smidge of arrogant charm. So perfect. He held the door of his convertible (and there ends my knowledge of cars) for me and took me for a drive. I remember leaning over the side of the car and watching the world whiz by and just loving it. I clearly remember thinking about how much I love being driven around and how it almost felt as though we were floating above the world. And then we were.

The car stopped being a car and instead became something like a ski lift seat.  Callum Blue and I were flying above the earth in a ski lift seat. Even in the dream I knew this was a little weird, but I thought “Maybe he has super powers?” and went with it. I wasn’t scared, as I would normally be if I were flying or very high up off the ground, but I was afraid that I would drop my camera. Whenever I look down from a good height, I am always a little bit concerned that my glasses will fall off of my face and smash to pieces. The falling camera is apparently my dream-equivilent.

I didn’t worry too much, though, because soon Callum Blue decided to have a little nap. He rested his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me and dozed while I admired the flight. I’m still not sure which was more exciting: flying through the city in a chair, or being embraced by Callum Blue. Lucky for Dream Me, I didn’t have to choose between one or the other. Dream Melanie can have it all.

The rest of the dream was sadly Callum Blue-free, but I did end up in bed with Matt Smith. The weird thing about that is that I am a huge David Tennant fan, so I’m not sure what my brain was thinking.

Posted in Dreams, Movies/TV, Nerd Talk | Leave a Comment »

Morning Walk: Day 5

Posted by melagee on March 4, 2011

I had the best morning.

I didn’t hit the snooze button. I woke up as soon as my alarm went off, and I felt rested and alert. This was a huge change from the zombie-like movement of my usual morning self.

This morning I took Neil Gaiman on my walk with me. He was reciting the introduction to his book, Fragile Things, and then started telling me a wonderful story about Sherlock Holmes. For the whole walk I was entranced by the sound and inflection of his voice. I had read Fragile Things several years ago, but listening to him read his own work was like discovering it all over again. The only flaw, if there is one, is that I am enjoying the audiobook too much. I kept listening to it while on the bus to work. I should be savoring this; instead I am loving it like a fat kid loves cake.

When I got back from the walk I made myself breakfast. I made eggs Benedict for the very first time ever. That included poaching an egg, for the very first time ever. People, let me tell you, poaching an egg is ridiculously easy. I used a pot of hot (but not boiling) water, some vinegar, and a slotted spoon. BAM: poached egg. My Benedict was built from a crumpet, sliced tomatoes, and the egg in question. Topped with a yummy cream cheese-based sauce, and a few rashers of bacon on the side. This is most definitely the best breakfast I’ve ever made.

I’d like to say that I had such a good morning because of any of the things I’ve already mentioned, but I don’t think that’s what did it. Last night for the first time all week I had the opportunity to slow down and do something just because it was fun, not because I needed to. I spent the evening with two lovely people, talking about the nerdiest of topics. I think we dwelled on Dr Who for about an hour. I got to just be nerdy and drink hot chocolate and not spend a few hours doing something fun. It shouldn’t surprise me that the next morning I woke up feeling energetic and happy.

The good news is, I learned a lesson. It’s important to socialize and relax. The bad news is, it’s not going to make much difference. I’m as busy as I ever was, and no matter how nice it is to slow down and geek out, I still have a huge amount of stuff to get done during the week and will probably still stress myself out trying to do it all.

But at least I had a nice morning. 🙂

Posted in Buds, Creative, Nerd Talk, Personal Challange | 1 Comment »

Morning Walk: Day 4

Posted by melagee on March 3, 2011

Hit the snooze button once this morning. Pet the cats for an additional 5 minutes before I got out of bed. This is getting harder, not easier.

I was unbelievably sleepy this morning. With waking up so early and working proper full-time hours again, I feel like I have such a small amount of time to do other things, each day. Homework takes at least two hours (more when there’s an essay to write) each day, and then I have to get busy making dinner, preparing lunch for the next day, and playing with the cats. By the time I’m done doing all of the things I’m obligated to do, it’s time for bed.

Instead of music I listened to one of Dane Cook’s stand-up routines. amber gave me this one years ago when we first met, and I never got around to listening to it because it’s just audio. I’ve really enjoyed some of his stuff before, but this one…meh. The highlights of the routine were the two occasions where he quoted lines from movies in popular culture and got them wrong. I was a little embarrassed for him, but then I remembered that he has lots of money and I don’t so probably he should be feeling sorry for me. I have a lovely audiobook narrated by the lovely Stephen Fry waiting for me at home, and I will listen to that tomorrow morning. I think it should make for a lovely walk. Did I say lovely enough just now? Lovely lovely lovely!

I just thought about how much I am looking forward to going home tonight, and then I remembered that I have a coffee appointment and I felt a little bit disappointed. It’s sad when you’re so tired that you don’t even want to see cool people.

Posted in Nerd Talk, Personal Challange | Leave a Comment »

I don’t have time for this.

Posted by melagee on July 3, 2010

I’m going to tell you something private.  Something private and embarrassing.  Sometimes I like to fantasize about what it would be like to live in my favourite tv shows.

It’s a habit I developed as a child, when I was pretty lonely.  It’s not something I do a lot (any more), but every now and then I still get a kick out of wondering what it would be like to ride with the A-Team, or have an affair with Young Indiana Jones.  I”m sorry, but have you seen young Sean Patrick Flanery?  I can hardly be blamed.


I'm pretty sure this scene in Boondock Saints was written as a gift from the universe to me.

One of my favourite ridiculous tv-inspired fantasy’s is Star Trek: The Next Generation.  I like to think about what it would be like to hang out with Worf, replicate lots of ice cream, and maybe fight a little alien-bad-guy ass.

The other day I was day dreaming about ST:TNG and half-thinking about the controversy over Wonder Woman’s new costume redesign and how I have a little catching up to do with my Wonder Woman comic-reading, and a strange thought struck me:  If I were to suddenly transport myself from the real 21st century to the make-believe 24th century, I would have a HUGE amount of catching up to do in my comic book reading!  Good lord, I would have 3 centuries worth of back issues to read in order to catch up with the current storylines!  I have been reading comics with great regularity in the past several years, and I am still unable to keep up with just the Big Two.

But it’s not just comic books.  What about my favourite tv shows?  How many Doctor’s will have come and gone in that time?  And the books?  How many classics have been written?  How many songs have gone down in history?  How much pop culture have I missed, not just from my own planet but from the hundreds of other civilizations the Federation has made contact with?

For god’s sake, it’s not even just pop culture!  Think about this for a moment:  You’re a regular person, living in the regular (admittedly make-believe) 24th Century depicted in ST:TNG.  How do you imagine you would even begin to keep track of current events?  Most of us here in the real world barely know what’s going on in other countries, much less understand the complexities of situations like what’s been happening in Israel; how would you be able to stay abreast of the political climates of hundreds of cultures, and how they affect each other?  It seems impossible.  It seems like more than a full-time job.  How is anyone in Star Trek in a position of political or military authority able to make an informed decision?

I also kind of wonder what the internet (or equivalent) is like in the 24th century.  It seems like the 24th century version of using wikipedia is just to ask the computer a direct question.  Except if I doubt the information wikipedia gives me, I can always search for other sources.  Is there an alternate computer database that will give you more or different information?  Who feeds the information into the computer, and what are their biases?  What if an asshole gets that job and just starts trolling the federation?

I have questions, but I have no answers.

Posted in Essential Melanie, Movies/TV, Nerd Talk | 2 Comments »

On Vampires

Posted by melagee on February 12, 2010

I have been thinking about vampires a lot lately.  People are complaining about Twilight and it’s sparkly vampires, which I take some indie umbrage at, since I was complaining about brooding, aged vampires and their teen sweethearts before it got all cool.  Honestly, between Twilight, True Blood, and Angel, I have really reached my limit on that particular cliché.  So here are some ideas for some new vampire movies:

Knight in the City
When thousand-year-old vampire William Daye is framed for a crime he didn’t commit, serious, by-the-book police detective Susan Knight is the charged with and bringing him to justice.  Set in the dark streets of Fredericton, New Brunswick, Knight goes undercover as a newly converted vampire in an effort to locate Daye.  But as Knight follows Daye further into the forbidden world of vampireism she learns more about the man she must hunt down, and his way of life.  When faced with the ultimate decision, will Knight honour her life of obligation, or will she choose to embrace the life of the undead?

Not My Type!
Newly-bitten Ray Smeckles (Zac Efron) has just transferred to Westview Secondary’s night school program, and is eager to continue living his life in as normal a manner as possible.  When Ray meets Lola Brandt (Michelle Trachtenberg), President of the Student Vampireism Coalition, all of his plans get turned upside down!  Loud, proud, and half-drunk on blood, Lola is everything that Ray doesn’t want to be, but she just may be the only one who can teach Ray to accept himself as the vampire he truly is.

Small Packages
Turned at the age of 12, Josh has lived for hundreds of years without ever finding a way to fulfill his dreams of playing pro football.  While older Vampires take the field night after night in the professional vampire league, Josh can only sit on the sidelines and think about what might have been.  But when a kind-hearted coach takes pity on the small vampire and puts him on the team, all of Josh’s dreams seem to be coming true.  Will the reality be able to live up to years of yearning, and more importantly, will Josh be able to live up to his own expectations and show the world that his heart can still beat – for the game.

Hayden and Sonja are natural born enemies:  He is descended from a long line of vampire hunters, and she is poised to inherit the Vampire Crown.  Hayden has sworn to avenge his mother, who died tragically in the Vampire Riots, and Sonja swears a fierce and dedicated commitment to fighting for the freedom of her people.  Both have lived their entire lives for the day they would finally meet, and now that they have, Hayden and Sonja are in love.  Hesitant at first, they are ultimately unable to resist their love for each other.  Can the two star-crossed lovers find a way to force their family’s to accept them together, or will their tale end in blood?

Okay, that last one is still pretty cliché.

Posted in Movies/TV, Nerd Talk | 1 Comment »


Posted by melagee on August 19, 2009

I just got one of those phone calls of the deep automated voice telling me I’ve been preselcted for a special prize.  I started laughing and hung up.  I laughed because from now until forever, those calls will remind me of this skit, from That Mitchell and Webb Look:

Posted in Movies/TV, Nerd Talk | Leave a Comment »

Cool Things I’ve Seen

Posted by melagee on July 25, 2009

I take no credit for discovering these cool things myself, they were all shown to me by other, far more awesome people than I.  But, you know, since I know where they are, and you (probably) don’t, why don’t I share a little bit with you?  This is in no particular order of coolness, just in whatever order these things occur to me.

  • Pride and Prejudice on Twitter.  It’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like.  I took a break from reading “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” to read this, and it was damn hilarious.  It only works if you’ve actually read P&P before, but if you have, you will find it to be golden.  All of the characters have gotten themselves twitter accounts, and are living out the drama for all of us to follow.  So funny.  Go now.
  • Angry Alien Production. They do recaps of famous movies, but the twist is that they do them in only 30 seconds.  Oh, and the other twist is that they’re all bunnies.  I love their version of A Christmas Story so much, it’s pretty much essential that you watch the two together.
  • Grooveshark. This is what would happen if iTunes and Napster had a dirty sexy love affair that resulted in a bastard prodigy.  You can look up practically anything on this site, and then stream it live.  You can make playlists that are savable (if you join the site), and share your music with other people.  And it’s free.  Free!  At least for now.  All good (free) things eventually come to an end.  Get in while the gettings good.
  • Falcor the Urinator.  You’ve heard of Trogdor, from the Homestar Runner cartoons?  This is one guy’s random parody of a song from a cult Internet program.  For some reason I find it INSANELY hilarious, and for one summer I did nothing but sing and quote lines from the song.  Instead of linking to it, I’m just going to give it to you here.  Rejoice!

Posted in Blogathon 2009, Nerd Talk | Leave a Comment »

The Boyfriend List #1: Spider-Man

Posted by melagee on July 25, 2009

As if you didn’t know this was coming.

Yes, people, Spider-Man is my number one boyfriend.  Peter Parker, the Amazing, Spectacular, Web-Of Spider-Man.  Those of you who have known me for any period of time will know that I am completely and utterly crazy about this web-crawling menace.  And why?  That’s easy too, if you know me.

I don’t believe in the great fantastic love story.  I don’t believe that relationships like the ones you see in romances really happen.  I believe that love is something more solid and steady as opposed to something hot and romantic.  I do, however, enjoy a good story about a great love affair, and Spider-Man has that x2.

The first great love of Peter Parker’s life, and the one I think was his “one” was Gwen Stacey.  Gwen was a sweet, sometimes simpering girl that  he was involved with while in college.  It shouldn’t be a spoiler to anyone at this point that as soon as Peter and Gwen found some measure of happiness, the Green Goblin swooped in and dropped Gwen from the top of the George Washington Bridge.  Spider-Man shot a web line out to catch Gwen by the ankle, but he was too late; the fall had already done its damage.

Every woman who followed was measured against her.  Peter never got over Gwen Stacey, the love of his life.  In fact in every story of an alternate reality where Parker is able to live out his greatest desire, the life he would choose if he could, Gwen is always alive and always with Peter.

gwenneckThe death of Gwen Stacey was one of the major turning points in Peter’s life.  From now on you could measure Peter’s life in the comics in one of two ways: before Gwen, and after Gwen.  He never got over the guilt he felt for letting her go, and he never stopped loving her.  And what makes it even sadder is that, although the Green Goblin is ultimately responsible for the death of Gwen Stacey, Peter’s attempt to save her is what literally killed her.

It wasn’t the fall or the altitude that were the cause of death; it was the sudden stop causing Gwen’s neck to snap.  It was Peter’s grabbing her by the ankle and stopping her fall.  Peter Parker was unwittingly and unknowingly responsible for the death of Gwen Stacey.  How absolutely tragic.

Once Gwen was out of the picture, the stage was set for Peter and Mary Jane Parker to finally get it on.  They’d known each other and been friends with each other all the while that Peter was dating Gwen, and when Peter sunk into a deep depression over the loss of his lover, MJ was there to take care of him.  She was the only one who was really there for him during this time, and eventually the friendship that Peter felt for MJ turned into love.

They had some rough times – like when they lost their baby, May – but Peter and MJ were together for a long time and although *I* personally never got over the loss of Peter+Gwen, I could see that Peter+MJ were a much more rock solid couple who really seemed to belong together.  I was happy for them, and really, I thought MJ was pretty awesome.

Spider-Man’s romantic relationships are only one reason why I adore him so.  The other, probably much bigger, reason that I love him is his completely consuming sense of responsibility.  He’s a norma guy with extraordinary powers, and while there’s no denying that he sometimes has fun being the web-slinger, he would much rather have anormal life with his normal wife, and not have to run off into danger and leave behind the ones he cares about.  But he does it anyway.  Because, if you’ll allow me one brief moment of cheese, he’s a hero.

Spider-Man is cute, smart, noble, funny, responsible, and dedicated.  He has all of my favourite qualities in a person, and a snazzy pair of red tights.  Sometimes the writers do some really suspect things with him, but overall he’s been consistantly entertaining and heroic, and I have always had a soft spot in my heart for a hero.

Posted in Blogathon 2009, Boyfriends, Comic Books, Essential Melanie, Nerd Talk | Leave a Comment »

In case you were wondering,

Posted by melagee on July 25, 2009

A few blogs ago, oh so many many moons ago, I posted a few of the really random quotes that I use on almost a daily basis.  I forgot to put one on the list, and it came up in casual conversation with Catherine…Omega? Winters? Either or?

We were getting on the elevator and I was bemoaning the fact that the elevator only goes down and we had to take the stairs back up.  Suddenly:

“Where do those stairs go?” I asked.
Poor Catherine couldn’t have looked more confused.  “You want to take the stairs?”

Actually, I was just quoting GhostBusters, but, as Catherine pointed out, I had “too much context”.  That’s me!  The master of context and small yapping dogs!  I rule.

So!  Answers?

  • “Step this way.” — Spoken by Scrooge to his clark, Crachet at the end of A Christmas Carol.  He’s trying so hard to maintain his strict serious face so that he can surprise the hell out of Bob with his good news.
  • “You were right,” — Spoken by a nameless girl, right after having sex with Leonardo DiCaprio in Man in the Iron Mask.  The full line is “You were right.  A woman has never known love, ’till she’s know the love of a king.”  To which Louis replies, “I’m hungry.”
  • “I cannot carry anymore!” — Spoken by the female Barbarian in Champions of Norrath, my favourite video game.  She can only carry so many things at once, and when she’s at capacity and I keep trying to pick things up, she yells at me.  Sometimes I also use the female Dark Elf’s vally girlish version, “My pack’s full!”
  • “The books make our speaking English good.” — said by Xander to, I think, Giles in an episode of Buffy.  I don’t even fully remember the context, I just remember loving the line and it’s delicious wrongness.
  • “Use your words, dude.” — From Red vs Blue.  I really can’t remember which character said it, or in which episode, but it’s a great line for when people fumble over their own words, or become tongue tied.  You know, if you like to mock the misfortunes of others. Like I do.
  • “I love this show!” — Spoken by Gir in an episode of Invader Zim, which is one of the most awesomely awesome shows to ever awesome.  Gir is such a spectacular lovable character, too, you may remember that I almost named by cat after him.  I use this line a lot when talking about tv shows, which I kind of do a lot.
  • “I’ll be your mother, now!” — Little Red Riding Hood to Jack (of Beanstalk fame) in the final scenes of Into the Woods.  It’s completely random and never in context, but somehow I find a way to use it, and nobody ever ever gets it.  I think that just makes it all the more fun.

There.  Do you feel sated, now?

Posted in Blogathon 2009, Buds, Essential Melanie, Movies/TV, Nerd Talk | 6 Comments »