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Archive for the ‘Work’ Category

How was your day?

Posted by melagee on March 19, 2011

Today, for the first time ever, I got to hear my friend Alys play the harp. As a special added bonus, I also got to hear her sing. She was wonderful at both, and if her CDs hadn’t been picked clean by the rest of the audience, I would have liked to have taken one home. I feel like the harp would be a nice instrument to listen to while writing; sometimes I get tired of total silence when I’m working.

Afterwards, I stopped by the comic book store, because I was in the neighborhood and I am weak-willed. I am trying hard to pinch my pennies, but, well, comic books: they will be my undoing. I picked up “The Last Temptation”, which was written by Neil Gaiman (who I am currently in love with), and another really fun-looking one called “iZombie: Dead to the World”. The latter of the two is from Vertigo, which I like because they’re kind of like grown-up comics, and if you know anything about me at all you know that I have a soft spot for zombies. If I take the concept of zombies seriously, they are fucking terrifying to me. This comic seems not to take the scary approach, though, and looks pretty novel. I will check in with you guys once I’ve actually read it.

On the walk home I finished listening to the “Stardust” audiobook, which is read by my boyfriend, Neil Gaiman. I cannot get over how much I enjoy hearing his voice. I suppose I am not being completely fair when I call him my boyfriend, though, since I get a little wigged whenever he narrates sex. I kind of don’t like to think about him as a sexual object. Sorry Neil. I think of him as my platonic boyfriend, which to be fair, is how I think of many of my boyfriends. “Boyfriend” is really just another way of me saying “I think you are AWESOME and I love you”.

When I got home I chopped up some meat and stuck it in my tiny slow-cooker – it’s almost done now – and finished my essay. I went back and forth on how to structure the essay, which is an exploration of motherhood in Titus Andronicus and Macbeth. I ended up with: Intro-here’s why Tamora sucks-here’s why Lady M sucks-Lady M dies-Tamora dies-Conclusion. I’m not convinced that it’s the best structure, but I like it marginally better than Intro-Tamora does this-Lady M does this-Tamora does that-Lady M does that-Tamora dies-Lady M dies-Conclusion. This probably doesn’t make any sense to anyone. Nevertheless, the most important thing that I learned is that my typing skills have been shot to shit. I make an incredible amount of typos. Just in that last sentence I made four. I used to be so good at this.

The rest of the evening is pretty much just me eating pot roast and watching episodes of “Homicide: Life on the Streets”. If you’re unaware, it’s a pretty fucking excellent show, and the impetus for my usual internet nickname. Even so many years later, when I have developed a general dislike and mistrust of police officials, I adore the cops on this show. They’re like superheroes: fighting the good fight, no matter what it costs.

And how was your day?

Posted in Boyfriends, Buds, Movies/TV, Work | 4 Comments »

Morning Walk: Conclusion

Posted by melagee on March 5, 2011

This week was the pilot project for the Morning Walks, and the conclusions are…inconclusive.

To be honest, on Tuesday I caught myself thinking This is not going to work out. I was only on my second day and I was already breaking up with mornings. I really don’t like waking up in the mornings.

What I do like, however, is eating a proper breakfast. Did you guys SEE my breakfast yesterday? That shit was tasty. And I never would have gotten up to make it if I hadn’t already gotten up to go for a walk. I like eating yummy food early in the morning. Before this I would usually eat nothing, or whatever tiny object I could grab from the fridge, like a piece of cheese or some nuts. Even making toast was too much effort for me. Now I’m like a damn gourmet lady with my egg poaching. It’s pretty cool.

I also like the idea of audiobooks. I like the idea that I get to experience a god book for the sake of my own personal enjoyment and not because I am required by any class I’m taking. I miss reading for fun, and this is a sort of compromise I can make for myself. No, it’s not nearly as much fun as actually reading a book, but I also like being told stories, so it’s fun in its own way. And I’m doing it because I want to, not because I have to, which I think is something I need in my life.

On the other hand, I hate hate hate waking up in the mornings, and with the exception of Friday, I have been super tired all week. Not just tired in the mornings, but tired all day long. I am drinking tea and eating well, yet I’m still drained. I think, as I said before, that a lot of that has to do with the fact that I’ve been working so much (and that a lot of my work is really dull).

The idea was to do the morning walks for one week and then see how I felt about it, and how I feel is that I don’t know how I feel. I’ve decided that I’m going to give it another week. I don’t know that my busy schedule will change at all, so I may still be exhausted, but we’ll see how it goes.

And no, I won’t be blogging about it every morning. 🙂 That was just for the first week. I’ll let you know how it goes, though. I was thinking I’d try making pancakes on Tuesday!

Posted in Personal Challange, Work | Leave a Comment »

Perpetuities in a Nutshell

Posted by melagee on March 4, 2011

I was organizing some old files, and I found this note inside a book. I thought it was humerous upon first reading, and even more so when I noticed the dates in the letter.

March 21, 2000

Dear Sirs:

I am returning a copy of Perpetuities in a Nutshell which for some inexplicable reason I neglected to return. You have probably been wondering as to its whereabouts all these years, and I apologize for my neglect.

I may say that I didn’t understand the rule then, and certainly don’t care about it now.

Yours very truly,
Some Dude*
Class of ’55

 

*name changed to protect the dude.

Posted in Work | Leave a Comment »

My Maple Tree

Posted by melagee on October 16, 2009


Not my maple tree, but one very much like it.

Not my maple tree, but one very much like it.

When I first moved to Vancouver, just over a year ago, one of my favourite things to do was to go outside and sit on a bench during my breaks.  There was a tree just outside the office that was turning the most beautiful shades of red, and every day I would sit there and just admire the tree and feel the passage of time.  It was very peaceful and I felt like I was actually taking time to appreciate my life and my day, which I think is a rare act.

Eventually, as happens in the fall, the leaves on the tree fell off and the branches were bare.  Last winter was an especially harsh one (particularly for Vancouver, I’m told) and I stopped sitting outside on my breaks and eventually started napping on them.  I started to feel more like I was just wasting my time and struggling to get through the day.  Occasionally I would walk by the tree, on my way somewhere else, and remember how pretty it had been in the fall and look forward to seeing the leaves bloom and again and turn red again next fall.

The other day I was walking out of the office, on my way home, and I walked by my maple tree, and noticed that almost all of the leaves had turned red and fallen off.  I was surprised to realize that the tree had been red for a couple of weeks now, and I hadn’t noticed.  I was too busy taking naps and being tired.  The tree that I had been waiting all year for, had come and gone in only a few weeks, and I had missed it.  I was so incredibly disappointed that I hadn’t gotten a photograph, or even noticed.

I have been spending so much time doing things because I have to that I haven’t spent very much time just enjoying myself in the past year.  It’s time for this to change.  I’m going to be radical and insist that it’s time to bring the fun back into my life.  And I know what I want to do first.

As an aside, while googling for pretty pictures of red maples, I came across this painting, which I thought was just beautiful.

Posted in Essential Melanie, Work | Leave a Comment »

Why do they SCREAM so much??!

Posted by melagee on October 15, 2009

I just had the most interesting conversation with a coworker.

We were talking about her daughter, and kids in general, and I mentioned that I probably wouldn’t ever have kids because I don’t want any, and she said she doesn’t blame me and understands why.  She then went on to tell me that her daughter was a mistake.  “But,” I said, “You were trying to get pregnant, weren’t you?”

“Yes,” she said, “But it was a mistake.  My instincts told me to be a mother, and I find that I don’t like it.  I’m not cut out for it.”

“Well, it all worked out for the best.”  I said.

“Not really.”  She shrugged.  “It would have been better if I hadn’t gotten pregnant.”

I laughed because I still didn’t quite understand what she was saying to me.  “But you love your daughter!”

“Of course I do, and I would give my life for her, but it was a mistake for me to have kids.”

“But it’s not like you would do things differently if you had the chance!”

“I would do things differently.  If I could do it all over, knowing what I know now, I would not have kids.”

“…And just live your life without your daughter?”

“Yes.”

I don’t really know what to say to this, so I kind of change the subject.  I thought it was really interesting to hear someone say that they love their child, but if they could go back and undo the existence of their child, they would.  How does that work?  Especially if you are making the decisions based on what you know now – that means you would go back in time, prevent the conception and birth of the daughter you love so much, and then continue with the rest of your life with the memory of a daughter who never existed.  I…what am I missing here?  I am trying to make sense of that concept and not just have a gut reaction to it, because I know how frustrated I get when people are “confused” by the fact that I don’t want to have children.

Despite the fact that I really don’t understand my coworker’s ideas about changing the past, I do understand her contention that it was a mistake for her to have kids.  I understand using hindsight to reflect on past deeds and admit that the things you did were not necessarily in your best interest, even if they were things that you wanted at the time.  I think that if more people took the time to consider this possibility, maybe there would be fewer unwanted and abused children in the world.  Or maybe that is a gross oversimplification.  Who knows?  What I do know is that it makes me even less likely to ever have kids (if that’s even possible).

And in recent news, I am apparently more afraid of commitment than anyone ever in the entire history of the world.

Posted in Essential Melanie, Rants, Work | Leave a Comment »

Protected: RvB: You’re Annoying

Posted by melagee on January 16, 2006

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